Ego in Romantic Love

May 26, 2021

Ego is the center of man and woman’s conscience identity; developed by responding to the environment judging it. For example, if you were raised in an environment that values Anglo-Saxon beauty and you are Anglo-Saxon, your ego develops one way. If you are not Anglo-Saxon, your ego develops another way. 

Formation of ego starts young; children develop ego from the feedback they receive from caregivers. As we grow into adults, every single one of us must carefully check our ego.

This information is known; deeply studied, taught, experimented with and well understood. Trends, commerce and media are not accidents, they are ceremonies that transform the identity of the individuals participating. And it’s primarily done through the ego.

An unchecked ego will cause a person to place blame on others for their difficulties. This is also identified as the “Victim” mindset. 

There is an important distinction to be made between the person who has taken on the Victim Personality, and the person who is visiting the Victim Mindset. Victim Personalities take the negative experiences of their life, and attach them to their current identity; another way to say that, is a person who focuses on the Negative. 

The Victim Personality is chronic. The Victim Mindset is a visited state of mind we all slip in and out of from time to time.  

In this essay, we refer to the Victim Mindset.

It is crucial to understand, when a person feels like a victim, they become a victim. For the person who says to themself “I feel completely powerless”, the victim mentality is Real the moment they accept these thoughts. 

Victims have a very difficult time handling blame and accountability. Adult relationships need clear lines of accountability to remain healthy.

Part II – Victimization in Romantic Love 

Why is awareness of Ego important?

Understand, romantic relationships suffer under the weight of the Victim Mindset. Awareness of ego is necessary for healthy romantic love.

Victimization happens in every romantic relationship – just think of the intimate things both sides share. Romantic Lovers have an innate need to have their secrets known, understood and accepted by the person they love, and who loves them. When our innermost secrets, thoughts, and dreams are shared, the recipient must be aware and in control of their tongue. The tongue has the power to stir up anger and hurt. “It requires  trust, that our partner will not willingly harm us with the information we share.” A moment of a loose tongue will use the secrets of Wife or Husband, as ammunition to fuel their state of Victimhood.

It is an act of friendship and trust, to share and let share, without using the information against your Husband or Wife.

The easiest way to weaponize ego, is through sex, finance, power and victimization, all of which play important roles in romantic love. The Victim mindset is unavoidable in romantic love; so it is beneficial to understand as much as possible about this mindset. Prolonged interaction with a Victim as a romantic partner can distort the development of your own Ego, if not handled with understanding and compassion. 

Even the most logical of us fall into the Victim Mindset from time to time. 

With love,

Pool House

Start Video at 3:25 – Apply this information, and change your relationships

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